#the world needs more kindness and this corner of tumblr has more than most

[farfromstrange]

Halloween | Matt Murdock x F!Reader

PART 5 of The Vault

See this post for more information on my Valentine's Day Special & Follower Celebration, but these fics can be read separately!

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Summary: Matt hasn't been paying attention to you lately. So, on Halloween, you decide to try and get his attention in a way he can't refuse.

Warnings: SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), Dom!Matt, choking, praise, degradation, unprotected p in v, no foreplay, slight orgasm control, mentions of oral sex, use of "good girl", Matt looks like a bore in the beginning, there is a stranger who can't take a hint, a very common Halloween costume, protective!Matt, cliché tropes

Word Count: 4.7k

A/n: This is... well, let's just say that you can tell that it was written a while back and then rewritten in parts by Me today because the smut lacked depth, BUT I do kind of like it. It's a Halloween fic, so apologies about that. For this, I got inspired when I bought my "I'm Not Daredevil" sweater in 2022. Plus some general horny thoughts during my first Kinktober on Tumblr that I didn't participate in (2022). I hope you like it anyway.

He hasn’t paid enough attention to you lately.

Between work and the nights spent protecting the streets of Hell’s Kitchen, he is hardly home. He tries to be, but he fails almost every time. The bed is starting to grow colder, and his scent lingers only half-heartedly in the atmosphere. You miss him. You miss his touch, his skin, his voice but most importantly, you miss the spark. It has been two weeks of Matt being slumped, but that is more than enough to drive you crazy.

When it gets colder outside, you need your boyfriend by your side, to hold you and cherish you like he usually would. You miss being desired by someone. You miss being the center of his world. Not that you want him to ignore his responsibilities forever, but just for a few hours, you want him to yourself wholeheartedly. Missing him when he isn’t gone is the worst feeling, and it often leads to tensions in your relationship. 

Matt can be so selfless that it sometimes starts to look and feel like he is being selfish by going after what he deems to be right. He doesn’t realize it though, not until he is hit over the head with it and suffers a concussion.

As Halloween rolls around the corner, having an absent boyfriend grows into a problem you can no longer ignore. And you don’t want to, either.

Karen decided to throw a party, and she sent out invites to her closest friends months ago to make sure everyone could somehow fit it into their schedules. She has invited everyone she knows and encouraged those to bring their friends as plus ones. Costumes are mandatory.

Halloween used to be your favorite holiday, but this time, you aren’t even sure if you can make it to the party without getting pitiful glances because your plus one has to be busy—the plus one that Karen also invited separately because he is her colleague and friend. 

Matt doesn’t seem to care much about Halloween, especially not this party. Even though it’s not only important to Karen but to you, he has expressed how much he doesn’t want to go because he can’t neglect his Daredevil duties for one night. Not right now. 

When you reminded him a few weeks ago, he told you that the 31st of October is boring and overrated, kissed you, and then you both went to bed. 

You decided that night that it was time to use a different set of weapons. If Matt knew, he would go crazy, but that is what you aim for. You want him to go crazy. Crazy for you. 

The first step of your plan sounds easier than it is: convince him to come with you.

“You going to Karen’s party?” he asks you one evening before going out into the night.

You answer curtly, “Yeah.”

“Got a costume?”

“You know I do.”

His lips curl into a smirk. “Are you going to let me feel it? Or do you want me to guess?” 

“I want you to come with me.” You help zip his Daredevil suit back up. “I want you to put the mask down and come with me. Karen invited the both of us,” you say. “She’s gonna be asking questions.”

If it’s the disappointed cadence of your voice or the fact that he’s curious about what you’re going to wear, you’re not sure, but when he suddenly agrees, you’re taken aback. “I’ll join you guys later,” he murmurs. “Right now–“

Your excitement falls flat again. “The city needs you. Yeah, I know.” 

You’re starting to grow sick and tired of that sentence. He doesn’t deserve this. He is trying his best, and you act like a needy child. You’re angry while he is saving lives and making sure the streets are a little safer. But you stood by for weeks without complaining once that you felt a bit neglected. You always show him unwavering support. Even now, you want nothing more than for him to do what he needs to do, but you do so with a bitter aftertaste. And a lot of misplaced jealousy. 

Not having him close is torture. You need him. Even dressed in protective red leather, he looks too hot to handle, and that makes you crave him even more.

You brush off the ache in your core and focus on getting him dressed for the night. You don’t want him to get hurt.

“You going to wear the costume?” you ask.  

He cocks an eyebrow. “You mean the sweater that says ‘I’m not Daredevil?’”

“Yes.”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on, it’s a joke only the four of us will understand. It’s perfect!”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he says, his unfocused eyes darting up toward the ceiling. “I just… How about I just put a suit on and say I’m James Bond?”

“Please?” You wrap your arms around his neck. 

He sighs warily in response. “Will you tell me what your costume is?”

“No,” you answer plainly.

That’s the second part of your plan; wear the most revealing costume you could wear, and drive him crazy when he does appear at the party and hears you mingling. When he smells your bare skin, and when he realizes that you’re getting all the attention he should be giving you. 

“Please,” he copies your pleading tone, lips pursed into a frustrated pout. The conflict in his eyes is not yet covered by the red mask. 

He’s contemplating. For a moment, he considers staying. He wants to spend time with you; he wants to go to the party and have fun. You love Halloween and he would do anything to make you happy, but he can’t. The city is busier than usual. Louder. More intense. His ears can’t seem to catch a break. He tries to focus on you, to tune out the noise, but he fails miserably every damn time.

He doesn’t sleep, not much, and he barely eats anymore because he drowns himself in work so deeply that he forgets his basic needs. He just needs it all to stop. He has to go out to get some semblance of relief—to fight, to get his fists bloody, and come home exhausted enough to get a few hours of shut-eye before the cycle inevitably repeats itself.

It has been like this for weeks now. He is always overstimulated, always overworked; he can’t even kiss you sometimes because the thought alone burns his skin. It hurts that much.

He isn’t going to stop. You know that. You understand, but even the devil’s advocate grows tired sometimes. 

You’re so tired of the distance. You are so tired of him not talking to you when something is bothering him, and you’re tired of having to pretend it doesn’t bother you. 

Still, neither of you want to start the conversation. It’s a series of petty attempts to gain attention, a constant tiptoeing around each other until one of you caves. 

You peck his lips. “You come to the party, you find out,” you say. “You don’t, I guess I’m showing all of this ass for nothing.”

His ears perk up. “You’re what?” 

“Nothing,” you wave him off. 

“No, what did you just say?”

“I said you should come to the party.”

“After that. Is it—I swear to God if you’re wearing something short…”

“Then what? You gonna drag me home and spank me?” You scoff, trying your best to hide the fact that this is exactly what you want him to do.

The silk of your dressing gown hits the floor. It’s time to play even dirtier than before. Your plan is made to be adaptable, after all.

Matt stops breathing. “This isn’t fair,” he growls.

You smirk. “You should go.”

“You’re torturing me, you know that?”

“You decided to go out tonight,” you counter.

“Because I have to.”

“Do you?”

He curses under his breath, “Fuck. Okay, whatever game you’re playing, sweetheart, I need you to stop.”

You’re nowhere near satisfied. In all of your naked glory, you take a step forward. “Or what?” 

“Or,” he says, and his voice lowers barely above a dangerous whisper, “I’ll stuff your cunt with my fingers until you’re begging me to come. And then, just when you’re about to, I’ll pull away and leave you to take care of it yourself because I know you won’t be able to come without my help. That’s what I’m gonna do if you keep teasing me like that.”

Your jaw drops. You’ve got him right there, with his teeth buried in the hook, but he knows that if he lets the trap fall shut, you win. This isn’t just a desperate attempt at getting his attention anymore—you’ve got that now. This is turning into a game. 

Matt smirks, hearing the uptick of your heartbeat. He thinks he’s so smart. Reaching out, he cups your bare pussy with his rough palm, eliciting a sweet moan out of your mouth that shoots right to his cock. “Already so fucking wet for me,” he purrs. 

His touch feels like electroshocks shooting right into your bloodstream. It has been way too long, and you’re already burning for him before you can even fight back.

You want to beg him to keep going, but as quickly as he has put his hands on you, he retreats again. 

Matt marvels at the feeling of your slick between his thick fingers. He takes a whiff. Your arousal is so prominent in the air that his face contorts in agony. And then, he slides the digit into his mouth. Your distinctive taste explodes on his taste buds, and he moans, “Delicious.”

The show he’s giving you is utterly erotic, and it takes everything in you not to drop to your knees and take his aching cock out of his suit. 

Pressing his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, he whispers, “I’ll see you later.” 

He’s gone before you can protest.

He’s not the only one who has tricks up his sleeves though, and you’re more than ready to seek your revenge later tonight and finally get what you so deeply crave from him. He has to let go eventually, and he has to pay attention to you for longer than five minutes. You both need it.

Dressed in your costume and with a bottle of liquor, you make your way to Karen’s apartment. You’re determined to make this night last. Well, at least long enough for Matt to arrive, and then it’s showtime. 

Your friend greets you with a welcoming hug. Her small living space is already crowded, and you make your way through toward the table with the drinks. You can feel several eyes on you. Without your coat on, the costume you’re wearing leaves little to the imagination. You wonder if Matt can smell you across the city, wherever he may be right now. Maybe he does, and maybe he can tell what the thought of him is doing to you. Maybe he can tell that this is exciting you and he will cut his patrol short tonight. But you know he isn’t paying attention to you. He only does so when he fears that you’re in danger.

“And who are you supposed to be?” a low voice asks beside you.

You turn to find a tall guy dressed as a werewolf approaching the punchbowl to your right. 

“The tag said ‘slutty witch’,” you answer. “But I find the term a bit… problematic, so I’m a witch who likes to wear very short clothes on very cold days.”

He chuckles. Underneath his makeup and the fake fur, you can’t make out his features, but it’s not like you care anyway. “Well,” he says, “you’re a very beautiful witch.”

Oh, now he’s flirting with you. 

Your plan for tonight includes mingling to draw attention to you and make Matt jealous when he gets here, not flirting with strangers. You would never do that to Matt. You also don’t feel the need to flirt with anyone who isn’t your boyfriend, even though the attention does make you blush for a moment— mostly out of discomfort. 

You’re not interested in this man. Werewolves are only your type when they’re fictional, and even then you will always prefer your devil over hairy mythological creatures. 

You take a sip of your drink. “I accept the compliment,” you say. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” the man answers. He takes another step toward you. “Are you here alone?”

You take a step back. “Yes, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Playing hardball, huh?”

“No, actually, I’m just not interested.” 

“Nah, I don’t believe that. Is it another guy? It’s a guy, right? It has to be a guy.”

You glare at him. “Why? Because you’re so hot and irresistible and can’t take no for an answer?” Your voice drips with sarcasm. 

He leans toward you, and he’s getting dangerously close to your personal space. “You think I’m hot. You said it,” he says. 

Thankfully, he turns around to pour himself a cup of punch before touching you against your will. You wouldn’t hesitate to snap his neck like a twig. 

Your heart is pounding as the adrenaline mixes with fury in your veins. You forget about Matt and the fact that you dressed like this for him. He will appreciate it, and his opinion matters most to you. You just hope that this guy will leave it be so you can join your friends on the other side of the room.

“No offense, dude,” you tighten your grip around your cup, “but I think I’d rather be anywhere but here.”

Karen and Foggy are mingling somewhere, and you know that you’re definitely safe with them. 

The werewolf smirks. “Can I come?” 

Before you can tell him off, the very thing you thought wouldn’t happen happens. 

“I believe the lady said she’s not interested,” Matt pipes up behind you.

So he was listening to you from across the city. His locked jaw is an indication that he is fuming inside. More than fuming. He’s about to explode.

Oh fuck. 

He appears next to you, and one look at him makes you beam. He is wearing the red sweater with the big, white “I’m Not Daredevil” written on it. He even put on the antlers. 

The werewolf takes a good look at him when he wraps his arm around your waist, and he finally retreats. “She’s all yours,” he says. 

“Yeah, she is,” says Matt. You can’t see his eyes, but the rest of his face is expressive enough to give the other man a faint idea of what he is capable of. As innocent as he may look, he isn’t.

There’s a certain dominance he carries that could make any grown human being weak in their knees. You are the only one who would voluntarily do so and thank him, and beg him for more. 

Once the werewolf has disappeared, Matt turns you toward him. His feral demeanor slips for just a moment. “Are you okay?” he asks softly. He cradles your face in his hand, his thumb brushing your cheekbone, and you once again find yourself on fire.

For you, he put the costume on. For you, he came. And everything you have been struggling with these past weeks while he was absent feels so stupid now because he has been trying from the start, you just didn’t want to see it because you were so upset and needy. 

You nod weakly, leaning into his touch. “He was just…weird,” you murmur. Reaching out, you touch his sweater. “You’re wearing the costume.”

Matt shows the faintest hint of a smile before it completely fades from his face again.

“Yeah,” his answer is breathless. “But what the fuck are you wearing?” His hand slips from your waist to your exposed thighs with a low growl. A shiver ripples through him.

“A costume.”

He brushes over your ass, and there is hardly anything there to cover the fishnets you’re wearing. If he grips a little tighter, he will hold your flesh in his hands. Just a little lower and he will touch your wet cunt. Your scent is overwhelming, and the feeling of your skin in the crowded room makes all the lights in his brain go dark as they burst. He’s already so hard in his jeans. 

“Was this your plan all along?” he asks. His grip on your cheek tightens, and the other hand grabs your ass. “Get me to come with you just to hear your thighs brush against each other? To smell how wet you are with barely any fabric covering your pussy? Did you want me to bend you over in front of everyone just so I’ll touch you? Are you that desperate?”

You’re in trouble. Big, big trouble—and it’s exactly what you wanted. To be fair, it stands in a slightly different light now, but it’s Halloween. Things always go differently than planned on Halloween.

You swallow thickly, fluttering your lashes at him as innocently as you can. “You’ve been so busy,” you confess, “and I just missed you. I missed you so much, baby. I had to do something to get your attention.”

He bares his teeth. Those gorgeous teeth behind those gorgeously plump lips. You can only imagine them on yours. You can only imagine what it will feel like to have him between your thighs now, wildly licking at your slick folds while thrusting his skilled fingers in and out of your cunt. God, you want that. You need it. The thought alone is enough to make your thighs clench, and you cross them. You’re positively dripping. 

“Listen to me,” he demands, and his grip moves to your chin. “You’re going to finish that drink, alright? You’re gonna drink up, you’re gonna say goodbye to Foggy and Karen, and then we’re going to get out of here so I can fuck that feeling of inadequacy right out of that beautiful head of yours. Are we clear?”

You stare into your reflection in his glasses. The blood is rushing in your cheeks. You don’t trust your voice; all you can do is nod.

“Good girl.” His hand drops from your face. 

You’re shaking. Your knees are weak, and your legs feel like jelly. You breathe and you live solely for him. He has a power over you that is almost embarrassing to admit to. 

When you try to down the rest of your punch in one gulp, Matt stops you. By slowing you down, he’s teasing you. You suppose that you deserve it, but you’re not sure how much longer you can wait. 

It takes an agonizing while for you to finish your drink, say goodbye to your friends, and call a cab. Matt keeps his hands to himself. It’s so unlike him, but it gives you an idea of what’s to come, and the anticipation is killing you.

The door to his apartment hasn’t even fully shut behind you when he flips you around and pushes you against the wall, chest first. He does it with such force that your palms burn upon landing. You gasp.

“You’ve been teasing me all night,” he rasps into your ear. “I put this costume on for you. To be nice. If I’d known you would make it your mission to make my dick hard in front of dozens of people, I would have fucked you before going out tonight.”

You know that he wouldn’t have, but the thought still sends shivers down your spine. Not a single coherent thought is left in your mind.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t–” you break off into a moan.

Your tights are torn in two by his eager hands, and you moan when he pulls you back against his hard cock. You can feel his straining against your pants against your now bare skin. You want to reach out and touch him, but he won’t let you. 

And then, his palm lands flat on your bare ass cheek. He doesn’t even bother to take the rest of the costume off.

“You didn’t mean to?” he asks. “Are you sure about that?” 

You buck your hips. His dark chuckle grazes your ear. 

“Answer me, sweetheart.”

“I meant to,” you cry out when his hand comes back down on your red ass cheek. It stings, but the pain shoots straight to your middle where it settles in your needy core. “And I don’t regret it.”

“That’s better.” 

“Please.” You don’t know what you’re begging for, but this aching emptiness is driving you crazy. You need his cock, and it’s becoming pathetically obvious.

Matt gives your backside another slap before pressing you further against the wall. “Don’t ever doubt that you’re the most important thing in the world to me,” he says. “But slutty witch? You know what that does to me?”

You can’t help but smirk. “Yeah.”

He tears the underwear under your skirt in two. 

“If you want to be a slutty witch,” he presses his lips to your ear, “then act like it.”

Without a warning, without preparation, he thrusts into you. Your lips part in a lustful moan. 

Matt is relentless. One arm wraps around you, the other around your throat. He thrusts his hips upward, filling you to the brim with his cock. He pulls out just enough to move past your G-spot and directs the tip of his cock toward that spongy spot that makes you see stars. 

His name tumbles from your lips like a mantra. Matt, Matt, Matt… 

Your chest deflates. The corset of your costume is so tight, you can’t breathe. Your nipples ache underneath the fabric. They want to be free. They want to be touched. 

“Matt,” you beg. 

He doesn’t hesitate to open the ties at the front, pulling you free from the metal cage. 

The air gets knocked out of your lungs. He tightens his grip, locking the oxygen in your windpipe. Skin slaps against skin, moans fill the air scented with the stench of sex and every time his cock penetrates your tight walls, he pushes you further to the edge of the precipice.

From around your waist, he moves his arm down and his hand to your pussy. He catches your clit with precision. His thrusts speed up. They hit deeper and harder, and your eyes roll back into your head.

Matt, Matt, Matt…

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he grunts. “Such a good little slutty witch for me, sweetheart. Push back against me.”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice. You move your hips back to meet his thrusts. He lets out a moan of his own, digging his teeth into the soft flesh of your shoulder.

“That’s it.” He rubs in rapid circles over your clit. Your body is begging for a release.

The wall feels cold against your heated forehead. His fingers tighten around your throat again, causing you to clench around his cock. He twitches. You can feel every desperate drag of him inside of you, and he only keeps on giving you more, and more, and…

Your hand finds his against against the wall. The warning of your impending orgasm gets lost, but he doesn’t need verbal confirmation for something that he can feel every time he thrusts into the walls of your cunt that are hugging him so tightly, he is holding on by a thread. 

As if to distract himself, Matt lands another harsh slap against your bottom. “Who do you belong to?” he asks, feeling the flesh jiggle under his touch. 

You moan. “You, Matthew. Only you!”

Your screams of pleasure are music to his ears. He repeats the motion of his hand. You will have imprints on your skin tomorrow, and he will proudly feel them before you have to go to work. Leaving his mark on you is an exciting thought.

His balls tighten. He won’t last much longer if you keep squeezing him like that—if those thoughts keep popping into his head, and he barely manages to keep himself from coming right then and there, coming deep inside of you and fucking his cum into you until you#re overflowing. 

The pain from the sloppy spanking—he isn’t capable of seriously hurting you—floods your system and your pussy at the same time, amplifying the lewd noise echoing in his otherwise silent apartment. With the added wetness, the circles he rubs over your clit with his calloused fingers become impossibly faster. The sensitive bundle of nerves starts to scream; you can barely take it anymore, but you need his permission to come. In this scene, at least. You must always wait for his permission when he punishes you like this. 

You have a safe word for a reason, but you’re too blissed out to care. You love what he’s doing to you. You love how it feels, and you love how well the little pain he introduces you to every time mixes with the pleasure that consumes you whole. 

He buries his nose in your neck. You smell of sweat, salt, and his shampoo. It makes you feel better, you told him. To him, it’s a sensory dream. You complete him, and your scent complements him in ways he doesn’t fully understand. All Matt knows is that it makes him feel good, and not just because he gets a little possessive sometimes. It’s a warmth that runs deeper than the words of the English language could describe.

Again, he flicks your clit. “I want you to come,” he finally says the five words you have been waiting for. “I want you to come all over my cock, and I want you to scream my name so this entire city knows who’s taking care of you.”

Your pussy clenches around him again, and with a shout, you come undone. Your legs shake as the coil in your lower stomach snaps, tearing down your walls. You spasm, and you cry out his name. No feeling could ever be as powerful as the orgasms that Matt manages to give you. They are like tsunamis, and they know no mercy. They are a force of nature that no one can control. You know it will happen, but you never know the force of it until it happens. And every time it does, you feel like you’re floating in a world far from home where only he, his godly hands, and his cock exist. 

Matt fills you with his cum after a few more sloppy thrusts. He comes hard, and it doesn’t seem to stop for quite a while. He’s leaking onto your thighs at this point, but the stickiness is only another reminder of him, and it makes you feel warm inside. 

With your breathing slowed to a more acceptable pace, you allow yourself to lean back against him. “Wow,” you mumble. 

He catches some of his cum from the inside of your thigh. “Yeah,” he says. “Wow.”

You greedily open your mouth. The salty essence of him spreads over your tongue. He’s the only man whose taste you would carry with you proudly for days. 

The kiss Matt delivers to your cheek is sweet. 

“Did you like my—” 

He cuts you off, “Yeah. Too much.”

“But it did work,” you say. 

“You could’ve just talked to me.” 

You look over your shoulder, you notice that he’s still wearing his costume, minus the glasses. His hazel eyes are full of hurt. Shame. Guilt.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t think you’d listen.”

“I always listen,” he says. “Even when you think I don’t.”

You whimper at the loss of his cock when he pulls out. Matt doesn’t turn you around right away, and for a split second, you fear that this will turn into an argument. 

Instead, he sweeps you up into his arms.

“Don’t disappear on me again,” the plea is whispered directly into his ear.

His hold on you tightens, carrying you toward your shared bedroom. “I won’t.”

“Thank you.”

“I love you.” The sincerity in his voice lights the candle in your soul that threatened to go out. 

You answer without missing a beat, “I love you too.”

“Do me a favor?”

“Anything.”

Matt throws you down on the mattress. “Keep the costume.”

Halloween might just become his favorite holiday, after all. 

Matt Murdock Smut Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @linamarr @mcugeekposts @itwasthereaminuteago @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @sya-skies @amberritonicole @ravenclaw617 @pigeonmama

[pedantic-poison]

golden | MS47

GIF by brawn-gp

pairing: black cat gf! fem reader x golden retriever bf! mick schumacher

warnings: fluff! and also a brief but very explicit mention of oral (f receiving) and p in v (oops lol)

requested: yes!

word count: 0.9k

author's note: second time posting this because the first time it didn't show up in the tags at all so thanks for that tumblr! anyways yes this IS so extremely inspired by the song daylight by taylor swift not that anyone asked but the second i read the request i couldn't help it

you'd met at a party, where you'd been standing quietly in a corner, drink in your hand, content to just mind your business without talking to anyone until you'd been there long enough that you wouldn't feel bad leaving

it was some friend's birthday, not close enough that you had to spend most of the night with them, but you like them enough to make an appearance, even though you hated parties

Mick, golden boy that he is, was the center of attention without really meaning to be

talking to everyone like they were an old friend he'd known for years, and at some point he looked up and realized that you were the only person in the room who he hadn't spoken to

he didn't even know your name, actually

and he couldn't help himself, he was just too curious, and he thought you were so gorgeous, he figured it was better to just go talk to you than to stare at you with heart eyes from across the room

Mick is such a sunshine boy that even when other people sometimes find you a little standoffish, when he first saw you, he just adored you right away

wasn't intimidated by you at all he was just completely enamored

initially, you were a little overwhelmed by him, kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop and show that it was an act

how sweet he was, how kind, how considerate, the way he would listen to you so intently, like the moment you opened your mouth to finally speak the rest of the world faded away

you just couldn't believe that he was being genuine, that he really cared about you that way

but the look on his face when he's watching you is so earnest

he didn't mind that at first you weren't very talkative, or that it took a little while for you to really trust that his affection for you was real

besides, he can talk enough for the both of you anyways

you finally had to confront just how much you cared about him because of the shit show with Haas

more than once Mick had to talk you down from personally fighting G*nter on his behalf

and once you finally let those walls down and let him in? Mick was stuck to you like glue

he'd come home, or back to your shared hotel room, after a long day during race weekends and just collapse onto you, laying his head on your chest while you'd scratch his head or his back

he fell asleep like that, on top of you, more than a few times

sometimes you weren't really sure what to do or say, but Mick would just assure you that you were making him feel better, that you were doing everything right, even when he was the one who needed comfort

and when you have a bad day at work or school?

that man pampers you like a princess

he literally will not let you do ANYTHING for yourself

and you don't even have to tell him that you had a rough day, he can just see it in your face the moment you walk through the door

he gives you these mini lectures about asking for help when you need it, reminding you that you help him when he has a tough time, and that it's only fair for him to get to return the favor

if you ever try to tell him that he's already so sweet to you, all the time, he won't hear it

just ushers you towards the couch or bed with your favorite blanket in hand

he'll have you lie back against his chest, nestled in between his legs, so he can wrap his arms around you and hold you to him, tight and comforting

whispering sweet nothings into your ear, planting kisses on the top of your head

bubble baths, your favorite foods and shows, holding your book in front of your face for you so your arms don't get tired, kissing the back of your neck or your shoulder each time he turns the page

supporting your body with his as he finger fucks you until you're shaking, caging you in with those big, buff arms and his warm body, your legs draped over his so he can keep them open for him, surrounding you and overwhelming all of your senses, so all you can feel or think of is him, his free hand roaming your body, massaging your tits and reaching up to cradle your throat so he can tilt your head back to give him better access

or making you ride his face so you can make yourself feel good, until you've cum so many times and so hard that you can barely see straight, and then fucking you into the mattress, deep and slow, whispering words of praise about how you're doing so well for him, how you feel so good, looking so pretty while you take his cock like a good girl

when you're overthinking and can't stop worrying about something, and his usual pampering tricks don't work, he'll just fuck you dumb, make you go mindless with pleasure so that you can't think period

he hates having to be away from you for race weekends, even now that he's with mercedes and isn't fighting for his life every weekend

even when you're both busy, he'll always manage to make time for you, dropping in and surprising you, even if it's only for a few days before he's off to the next track

he's also completely immune to any of your usual attempts at self-sabotage

he doesn't let you lash out at him or start fights or have huge blow out arguments

he just wants to give you the whole world

and you just want him

because his love isn't black and white, or burning red

it's golden

like daylight

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

Image Descriptions and Accessibility in General on Tumblr for New Users

What are Image Descriptions

Image Descriptions are text following a picture explaining what’s in that picture. They are primarily for blind/visually impaired people with screen readers and visually impaired people who can read text but have issues with pictures.

They also help people who have trouble:

focusing on/understanding a picture

reading text on images (ex low contrast, weird fonts, etc)

getting images to load

Without image descriptions posts are not accessible to many people, so if you can it's best to include a description or alt text every time you post an image.

Alt text vs image descriptions

Image descriptions are written in the body of the post itself, and have some kind of text before and after, to explain that what's coming up. They typically begin short and concise, but can expand to more detail.

Alt text is added to the image itself, and is what is read by screen-readers (which will otherwise just say "image"). There is no need to add any explanation before the description so you can just say "a description of the image". Alt text can only be added by the original poster, by clicking on the three dots in the bottom right corner of the image and clicking 'update image description.' It is typically short and concise.

On tumblr, alt text is currently available on web by clicking on the alt button (or via new xkit - accesskit - move alt text to captions below image). On mobile, alt text is available in some versions of the app through clicking on the alt text button. Image descriptions are visible on all posts, although if you put them under a read-more, that makes them less accessible. (Thanks to @911described for helping with this section)

How to Make Image Descriptions

Awhile ago I made this general guide. I learned from examples, so here are descriptions made by a bunch of different people. I've also made templates for a lot of common images you'll see on Tumblr.

Other Concerns

Gradient or all caps text make most screen readers read out the word one letter at a time. In addition, these plus text that is bold/italicized/underlined, in colors other than black, or in weird/fancy fonts are difficult for many people to read.

How Filtering Works

You can filter out both words/phrases and tags in the filtering section under the general section in the settings. When filtering out words from a post, it will look at both the text of the post/reblog chain and at the url of op and the rebloggers. When filtering out tags it will look at the tags of the specific post on your dash, and at the tags of the original post.

Tagging for Common Triggers

Don't sensor trigger warnings (for example don't tag suic!de) because then people who have them filtered will still see it.

Tagging for Flashing Lights

If you post a gif or video in a post that flashes, you should tag it with something like "flashing lights" and Not "tw epilepsy" because if any of the tags in the original post contains the world epilepsy it will show up in the epilepsy tag, which is dangerous. Check out this post from @photosensitive-despair for more info about tagging photosensitive content.

Tagging for Unreality vs Misinfo

Things that could trigger delusions/psychotic episodes/etc should be tagged with unreality. This includes:

content that has existential themes related to reality/things not existing (example: a philosophy such as solipsism, do not look up the term if unreality stuff is triggering for you)

extremely surreal content(example: sometimes content such as weirdcore/dreamcore aesthetics can fall under this umbrella but again this is very subjective)

content that reinforces or encourages common delusions(example: that one "im living in your walls" meme)

Things like rp blogs and fake/edited tweets should not be tagged with unreality, unless they contain triggering content. Consider tags like "fiction" or "misinfo." See this post for more info.

Edit:

Addition from @mindflamer

You can look through the reblogs of a post to see if someone's already written a description. There is a button to see just comments vs. comments + tags which makes it easier. Scroll through looking for brackets [], ID, or Image Description. This is great to do if you can't write your own IDs for whatever reason, so that you can at least spread the version of the post that's described if there is one.

If you're not able to write IDs consistently, some is better than none. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. You can use the tag #undescribed to make it easy for those who need them to filter out those posts. Similarly, if you primarily tag triggers but can't for certain posts, you can use a separate tag on that to be filtered such as #untagged.

Please, if I forgot something, sound off in the notes and I'll update this post with it

[myjlla]

Rainy days

Pairing ✮⋆˙ Go Kyungjun x Reader

Summary ✮⋆˙ Is it true that some situations are not coincidences?

"✮⋆ Second meeting with Kyungjun"

The new school year has officially begun.

The first day is always a little different because the start and opening speeches are not among classes but in front of the whole school, people are always not able to find each other among 800 other students, so they tend to sit next to a few of their friends they met with before getting into the building.

And this time was no different. Kyungjun sat with Seungbin and Jinha in the corner of the music hall, sits weren't the most comfortable ones they had been sitting on but they were able to manage.

After a few hours of the formalities of the opening ceremony, Kyungjun found himself among the other students disappearing from the building, the same thing happened to the two of his minions who were left on their own going to their houses to get some freedom before starting emotional rollercoaster of studying and being in the role of 'the bullies'.

Getting out of the crowd, his gaze locked onto a familiar figure standing near the school's exit doors. Familiar figure he remembered seeing fourteen days ago - the girl from the rainy day.

Maybe it was his heart - racing with curiosity - maybe it was his head telling him to get closer.

So he did, Kyungjun approached her.

After hearing some footsteps behind her she looked to the side. The girl spotted him and right away offered a warm (but small) smile, her eyes sparkling with recognition.

As they exchanged eye contact, Kyungjun felt a wave of this weird feeling wash over him. It was as if the rain from two weeks ago - which was also present today - had been a prelude to this moment right now.

Walking side by side a few steps they managed to get out of the school's door to stand next to each other right under a little roof.

"I have something.." he mumbled, then he took the lighter out of his uniform's front pocket, its engraved surface catching his eye.

To his surprise, Y/n shook her head, a playful smile on her face. "Keep it, I don't smoke".

Kyungjun blinked in confusion, a little taken aback by her response, "Then why did you give it to me?".

"I like watching the flame dance and move in the air, plus I figured you might need it more than I did"

Kyungjun felt a warmth spread through him at her words with a sense of gratitude. But also he realized something, maybe he didn't even know yet about it but for him, this girl was someone more than a nice, playful stranger he met on the street this rainy day. She was like a beacon of kindness and understanding in a world that often felt cold. She was the complete opposite, but the universe still made them fall into each other.

With a nod, he slipped the lighter back into his pocket. As he stood there he realized something, "I never 'really' got your name", he admitted.

"I suppose it's written on the lighter, but officially, I'm Lee Y/n"

"Go Kyungjun", he responded with a knowing look, it was embarrassing, yes, but a nice question to keep the conversation going, wasn't it?

And so were they standing there, under the little roof waiting for the rain to stop since none of them had an umbrella, something more clicked in their heads, but this time the girl decided to ask question quicker than him. "You are a student of which class?"

Bingo!

He responded to her, and so did she - they were in the same.

✮⋆˙ julliet

Written by @myjlla on Tumblr; do not steal !!

[atlabeth]

now that the dust has cleared from the chaos for me irl, i want to officially thank you all for 3000 followers!! because wow. where do i even start?

this isn't a milestone i thought i would ever reach. i made this blog during my junior year of high school when i was bored as hell in online school, not knowing what would come of it, and honestly not expecting anyone to read anything i’ve written. i exclusively wrote avatar fics (kind of embarrassing that a series i started at the beginning of my blog still isnt finished huh?) because it was what i had been watching most recently. i started to gain some recognition, made some friends, and slowly but surely i carved out my little corner of the internet. and now, 3 years, 3000 followers, and almost 500,000 words later, i’m going into my junior year of college with some of the best online friends a girl could ask for (shoutout to my day 1 @simplysolo for still being around and still being the best ever, and shoutout to all my other tumblr friends that have deactivated over the years</3 i miss you guys) a whole array of fandoms that i’ve dabbled in, and a newly discovered thing for middle aged men. cool 

i truly cannot thank you all enough. i’ve always been a writer, but this blog has given me a sorely needed creative outlet and made me more confident in my writing skills than ever. at the end of the day i’m just writing silly little x reader fics, but i’ve truly had so much fun doing it! every single fictional man im in love with is also in love with me isn’t that crazy!!!

a special, extended shoutout to the loveliest mutuals i’ve picked up over the years. i wouldn’t be half the writer i am and i wouldn’t have half as much fun on here without you all. @simplysolo for being around since the beginning and truly being the greatest person on this app, i love you intensely, @sokkadora for being another one of my ogs (we dont talk anymore but i see you every so often on my dash and you’re doing great!!) @mcallmestiles for being one of the first avatar fics i ever read, traitor encouraged me to be a better writer and i hope you’re doing well with your medical career!! @tangledinlove for being my most famous mutual, the kindest person in the world, and being brought together through the power of lockwood, @giyuji and @milkiane who are both inactive but who i have to tag because i love them and i hope they’re doing well; naomi you got me into the grishaverse and liane we were in the trenches of the stranger things revival together, @boneblushed for dealing with so much but still being phenomenal and lovely in every way, @tommymcartney for being so sweet all the time, my biggest cheerleader and encouraging my insanity in every fandom ive been a part of, @nghtwngs for being the only person who loses it over nikolai lantsov as much as i do, to all my new/more recent mutuals @hotchfiles @ma1dita @moowithmidnight @emiliehornby @supercutszns i can't wait to get to know or keep getting to know you!!! you're all so lovely!!! and all the mutuals i don’t talk to as much as i should, i love you all and cherish you in my heart regardless of if we talk every day or have never said a single word to each other!! i don’t want to tag you all because i don’t want to bother you, but if you’re looking at this and thinking am i talking about you, i am. i love you. it takes a village and im so lucky to have you all as mine 

i can’t believe it’s been 3 years, i can’t believe i’m halfway done with college, and i can’t believe we hit 3,000. truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for reading my fics and letting me be some small part of your lives. i can’t wait to write more for you all. keep a lookout for my 3k celebration post! 

[saltwaterandstars]

Just a heads up - this post is me musing on what I want to happen when I die (which, hopefully, won't be for many years yet!)

So, mr hag and I did a strange thing yesterday - we went to a woodland burial ground to look around, to try to make a decision about what we want to happen when we die. This was triggered by us wanting to update our wills - the friend who's agreed to be our executor asked for some details about what we want to happen when we die, which neither of us could provide. I thought I'd make a post about it because, certainly in the uk at least, we're really bad at talking about death. And also because I'm kind of excited about what I've decided on?!

For a bit of context, I'm in my late 50s and mr hag is in his early 60s, so thinking about our deaths and funerals perhaps feels a little more relevant to us than the average tumblr user, though of course, who knows? Also, both my parents and mr hag's are dead, as is my only sibling, and I arranged three of those funerals and spoke at four of them, so I have a fair amount of experience of death and funerals in my (british, non-religious, white, working class) immediate family.

The most common thing to happen in the uk is for people to be cremated and to have a brief service at a council run crematorium, unless the deceased/their family is religious, which is much less frequently the case than in the US, I think. In my experience, often those brief services are a bit Christian (e.g. there are hymns), but more as a default because people are unsure what else to do. That is changing, and there has been an increase in 'celebration of the person's life' type services in recent years, but honestly, none of the funerals I've been to have really been in a venue or a form I'd like for me or Mr Hag, except that a close friend who died five years ago organised for her ceremony and burial to be at the place we visited yesterday.

So, we both really liked the place. It's out in the countryside and mostly consists of grassy fields with trees planted in them, rather than actual woodland. It's peaceful, there were lots of birds around and in the summer (I saw it in June when my friend died), it's a bit more meadowy, with wild flowers. When we were there yesterday, we saw a guy about our age sitting on a folding chair he'd brought with him, eating a huge sandwich, and talking animatedly to whoever was buried next to where he was sitting - it felt very friendly and informal and I could imagine doing exactly the same thing.

You can be cremated or buried there, you can have religious services of various flavours, you can have secular ceremonies, but I also think they'd be open to my flavour of non-theist pagan strangeness. I mean, they did have some standing stones dotted about the place, so I took that as a sign :-)

So, we've decided on the place, but we still need to decide on the form of what happens. Mr Hag isn't sure what he wants yet, but when I saw the place again, I was suddenly really clear that I want to be buried in a wicker coffin, and (I appreciate this might sound really strange), I've got very excited about the idea of grave goods! I have a lot of thinking to do about what I want to be buried with, but what's the point of it all if I can't leave this world channelling well-loved neolithic woman/warrior/queen, adorned with amber beads and strings of shells, wearing a beautifully embroidered something or other, and holding a small silver badger or something else that will utterly baffle future archeologists?!

I don't know if I'm the only person in this little corner of tumblr who's thinking about these things, but if you have thoughts on funerals you've been to, ideas of what you'd like for yourself when the time comes, any of that stuff, please do feel you can comment xx

[chaoticbindery]

Here's Looking at You Kid

By Messermoon(@sophsicle )

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world..."

George wanders into a bar. Nothing is ever the same.

Thanks to Soph for accepting a copy of this story. Apologies for the delay and ups being trash 💀

Thanks to @upthehillart for approving my use of their art for this fic.

Special thanks to the @renegadepublishing server for all your support, advice, and encouragement during the making of these books.

To ups, I hope you never feel the gentle touch of a woman, that your child never hugs you again, and that every time you enter a room, you forget the reason you are there.

Below, I will discuss the process, which will include a lot of spoilers. (But also more pics 😈)

When I heard this story was set in the same universe as choices, I lost my shit a little and read it. Slowly, however, this story began to mean a lot more to me than I could put into words. George's grief over the lost of his soul mate, the struggle to find himself, and Blaise's love, passion, kindness, and confidence in himself resonated to me in such a way that I knew I needed to hold it in my greedy little hands.

I started to think about what I wanted to do and how I wanted to bind this story. I struggle a lot from picking the font for the body text to picking the chapter titles. I finally, after fucking around with canva for more time than I'm willing to admit , I was able to come up with these:

(If you would like the files for anything I used, please dm me, and I will send them to you! I will eventually set up a google drive)

In the story, there is this moment where Blaise casts a spell that creates a constellation, of which George got the inspiration to make a mood ring that created a little sky, and depending on your mood the sky changes to reflect how you feel. He gives it to Blaise, and they have a picnic under the sky, indoors, later at Blaise's party they have such a cute moment at night and so I wanted to implant the sky in some way.

I also wanted to use constellations in this bind. I didn't know how or where. I just knew I needed them in my life. So while i mop over my inability to impelent them, I took a break. So one day, I was reading a book with these very cute corners, and then it hit me. (No, I didn't finish the book i was reading. I was busy stalking the internet, trying to find the perfect image)

After that, picking the page breaks was easy. I wanted something simple since I didn't want the typeset to look so busy that it took away from the most important element of the bind, aka the story. I added a few little things for me in Draco and Harry's 2 chapters because I'm weak, and that's for soph to find all on her own 👀

I will put this here, tho.

Lastly, because Tumblr won't let me post more pictures, here are the endpapers I used for 2 of the 3 books.

As some of you may have notice, there are blues, pinks, and whites in this bind. It's a subtle yet very loud depiction of the Trans flag. It was very important to me to show that this story is of a Trans man that, as soph, puts it, saved himself.

I added all the chapter notes, trigger warnings, and more information about this bind on the typeset itself. Ultimately, to me, this is a form of archiving stories I think matter, and if for whatever reason, technology dies on us, this story will still live on.

The info that's only important to the binders 💀:

Materials list:

Bookcloth: Colibri in color Cornflower, this cloth has a silk like finish.

Htv: I used siser's htv easy weed vinyl with a bit of a pinkish undertone to it.

Endpapers: they are from paper tree nook in the uk

Endband: 2 mm 100% leather with blue viscous thread

Textblock: I used standard 20lbs cream color paper. I used toner to print. To sew the textblock, I use blue linen thread and remie bands gifted to me by my friend duranbinding. I painted the edges using golden acrylic paint, and the charm and ribbon are both from Michael's

Typeset:

(I will edit in this bit later since I made so many changes its hard to recall them all)

[ftm-hotch]

thinking about how haley and hotch really were great together but the fandom fundamentally misunderstands their relationship because of misogyny

this is my white whale. I believe the tiktok girlies call it a "roman empire." I am Haley Hotchner's defense lawyer, and I work pro bono.

I started to draft this in my head and then I realized you know what I hate? I hate it when I'm in my own little corner of fandom and someone comes in from another corner and makes baseless accusations. So while I will be engaging in some counter-bashing, it will not be baseless, because for you, dear mutual, I have entered the belly of the beast.

Let's get into it, and then into what we actually see from Haley in the show.

Note: I'm going to stay in my lane here, my lane being ao3. It's been five years since I was what I would consider active enough on Criminal Minds tumblr to give an accurate report from the front lines, so I won't try.

So first of all, there are only 22 works. Not a lot to work with, but taking a look at the most commonly occurring tags within this one, we see:

Dr. Spencer Reid appears more in the "Not Haley Hotchner Friendly" tag than Haley Hotchner herself. 22% more, in fact (81% to 59%, Haley appears in roughly half of the works in a tag that has her name in it). Not looking good on the "erasing women" front. Haley isn't even present in a lot of these fics to show her side of the story, and she's often shunted aside in favor of Hotch/Reid. Nothing wrong with Hotch/Reid at all btw! But when a woman is consistently sidelined and demonized to make room for a man, there's a problem with how the fandom as a whole is thinking about women.

And sure enough, that's what's happening. Haley is serving as Hotch's tragic backstory in a lot of these fics, and not in the way she does in canon. In a perfect world, I would skim these fics and find out exactly how many this trope occurs in, but one of them is 10k words of omegaverse and it's two in the morning. I can tell you anecdotally, though, that it's a lot, and that the theme continues outside of fics explicitly tagged "Not Haley Hotchner Friendly."

The "Additional Tags" section doesn't show me much, which isn't surprising considering there are only 22 fics.

Now on to the content of the fics. Like I said, I didn't read or even skim every single one of these, but I did pull two that I consider representative of the two dominant strains of Haley hate: cheating and abuse.

Note: one of these fics is what I would consider an outlier. It's a fic depicting Haley sexually assaulting Hotch in a very dubcon way, and having read it, I would consider it more like a huge departure from canon than a misogynistic misreading of Haley's character. The author wasn't concerned with Haley and Hotch's canon relationship, but rather with themes of sexual coercion. That's not the kind of Haley bashing I'm talking about. I'm talking about misogynistic interpretations of canon.

Cheating:

Ah, the trope of the cheating bitch. Yes, it is implied that Haley was cheating in canon (I'm 99% sure it was in 3.02 where they had the hang-up call to the house and then Haley's phone started ringing). So if she's canonically a cheater, where the hell am I going with this?

Well, context is important. I am of the opinion that Haley's subplot was a (clumsy) commentary on gender roles and female dissatisfaction. Haley was not getting what she needed or wanted from Hotch. I am absolutely not condoning cheating under these circumstances, but narratively, the function that her cheating was serving was as a commentary on female dissatisfaction, and I think overlooking that is a bit misogynistic and unfair. Just as Hotch had his reasons for doing what he was doing, Haley had hers. And again, Haley is often absent from these stories, just like she was in the overwhelming majority of canon.

And then there are the outright misogynistic takes on the whole thing:

"Cheating Aaron Hotchner" is paired with "Aaron Hotchner Needs a Hug." "Cheating Haley Hotchner" is paired with "Not Haley Hotchner Friendly." Hotch is assumed to have complex and emotionally charged reasons behind his cheating. Haley is assumed to be a bitch. Again, any narrative about female dissatisfaction, anything that would give Haley a sense of interiority and well-roundedness, is ignored in favor of Hotch angst.

That brings me to an important point. The discerning reader doth protest: "Mikey! Just because the fic is tagged 'Not Haley Hotchner Friendly' doesn't mean the author hates Haley! It just means the narrative isn't friendly to her, which could be for a variety of reasons, including that Hotch's POV is inherently skewed. After all, didn't you just write a few fics from the POV of a narrator you disagree with?" And to that I say, fair point! But. But. A few things are relevant here. One is that Hotch is just not that unreliable about Haley. He gets frustrated with her, but let's not forget "what I want, I'm not gonna get" (3.14). Hotch loves Haley, and consistently expresses his desire to go back to her. A Hotch who thinks badly of Haley is not a canon-accurate Hotch, and I think reading that into him shows bias on behalf of the author. Another relevant thing is that in reality, a lot of these authors ARE using the tag both to express the narrative's dislike of AND their own dislike of Haley. A third thing: we aren't just talking about individual conscious intent here; we're talking about fandom trends. Haley is not the first female character to go through this. There's more to this, on both sides of the coin, but it's still 2am and my head hurts now.

Abuse:

Now, here, I'm going to lay down a ground rule, and that rule is that whatever you accuse me of, I will not tolerate being accused of denying the reality that women can be abusive. I've been assaulted and abused by women and AFAB people. Don't even try me.

Back to my case studies. For this, I'm going to quote from a fic in the "Not Haley Hotchner Friendly" tag to show that portrayals of Haley as abusive are misreadings of canon.

Spencer didn’t press further, waiting for Aaron to continue. “We fought a lot…on the bad days”, he murmured, looking back down at his knees. “She never understood this - our- job. [...]"

Nah. Haley very much understood Hotch's job, and Hotch knew that. In 5.09, when Rossi asks if Hotch has told Haley yet that he's going back to the BAU, Hotch says he doesn't have to and that she already knows. Haley understood the demands of the job, and what it meant to him. She understood it well enough to put up with it for a long time, even though it put a hell of a lot of stress on her.

This quote also shows a willingness to overlook Haley's side of the story. In canon, as much as it could possibly be said that Haley misunderstands the job, Hotch misunderstands her stress even more. She's essentially a single parent, by Hotch's own 5.09 admission. Once, Hotch forgot a hospital visit for what sounded like a pretty serious condition Jack had as a baby.

“Haley said I wasn't prioritizing our family. Me ”, Aaron chuckled self deprecatingly.

I love Hotch with my whole heart. I really do. But in the early seasons, he consistently made choices that showed he prioritized his work over his family, and was even willing to be pretty cruel about it (the 3.02 fight where he uses the horror of the case as leverage in an argument).

"But wait! Mikey! Remember your own note about extreme canon divergence???? What if that's what this is?" Even if it is, this writing betrays subconscious misogyny. Haley is being used as a tool to create Hotch angst instead of being considered as a well-rounded character. She's being sidelined in favor of men, and the choice to use her as Hotch's abuser when the prompt this fic was based on mentioned nothing about her is in itself a misogynistic rewriting of what was actually going on in canon.

I'm tired now but I rest my case.

[naavispider]

Hey, what do you think life would be like for Spider and others in modern au? I mean the universe on Earth, nowadays. (For example - in my hc Jake is in a wheelchair, Spider has cystic fibrosis/severe asthma, Kiri has epilepsy and Grace is in a coma as a reference to the original story)

Spider Socorro Modern AU headcanons

Adding mine to the pile because I'm 😍 hooked 😍 Some of these are definitely influenced and adopted from other posts I've seen, especially @hyperfixatedfandomer (I searched but I couldn't find the other post that I really loved so I'm sorry whoever you are, know that you inspired me 🙌🏻) Again if you haven't, you need to read So close, yet a million worlds apart 🥰

has bounced from foster home to foster home growing up

Norm is his social worker who he has a good relationship with, despite Norm being pretty unable to find anyone to adopt him

Yes, Jake and Neytiri are one of the families who ended up fostering Spider as a teenager

He has asthma, which can occasionally flare up so he always carries his inhaler

His style is lots of oversized baggy clothes, a hoodie here or there but mostly bold t shirts, very grunge, very tumblr boy. His look reflects the care and attention he's gotten as a kid, which is obviously not a lot

Deffs has his ears pierced but hasn't braved his first tattoo yet

Plays guitar and can sing, but hates to do it in front of people

He's pretty musically talented all around, he once picked up piano pretty well

Very artistic, he definitely has a sketch book hidden somewhere and the sketchbook definitely includes Kiri's portrait more than once. The kind of kid that always has graphite on his fingertips

Skateboarder - so he can roll away from his problems

Alexa play 'They See Me Rollin'

Plaits his hair in cool styles, loves incense, would be into Yoga however he's never had the space or the vulnerability to try it in any of his foster homes.

Very popular at the children's home, lots of the younger kids look up to him and he has some cool friends his own age from there as well

Bright in school, though he can be cheeky so ends up in a few detentions, definitely has ADHD as well (high functioning)

Loves peanut butter! I feel it in my heart that it's his favourite food

relationship with the Sullys

when Norm called Jake and Neytiri and asked if they were willing to foster a kid for a few weeks, Lo'ak was Not Impressed

Tuk was delighted and Kiri and Neteyam were skeptical

The kid really needed fostering though due to a safeguarding concern (oh no Papa Miles found out where the children's home is but isn't allowed to see him so the only other option was to send Spider away across the country to another children's home)

As soon as Spider walked in the door Lo'ak knew they were gonna be thick as thieves, all trepidation vanished

Neytiri gives a warm welcome, but allows Jake and the kids to show Spider around. She definitely never tries to mother him, and Spider can feel that, it doesn't bother him (most of the time)

Jake is definitely in a wheelchair, and when he sees Spider's skateboard tucked under his arm on the doorstep he knows there's gonna be some wheel jokes

Spider is of course always respectful but the kid has banter, and Kiri and Lo'ak are all over it

Jake finds out his fave food is peanut butter and makes peanut butter chicken one night. The fam have never tried it before but it's an instant hit

Lo'ak and Spider sneak out together all the time, hanging around street corners and parking lots at night, and sometimes Kiri comes too

Spider got Lo'ak into skateboarding, Lo'ak eventually ditches his bike

Tuk is enamoured by Spider's hair, she thinks it's really pretty. Spider is great with her, because he has so much experience with younger kids in the children's home

Spider loved Kiri no doubt, but he's ace af so never thinks of her in that way. Kiri loves him back easily and they just know their souls align.

Someone at school once started taking the piss out of how friendly Kiri and Spider were, esp that they were foster siblings, and Lo'ak punched the guy square in the jaw, causing a big fight in the hallway and Lo'ak to get suspended for a day

Spider looks up to Neteyam, a little bit wary of him at first when he moved in, but doesn't see much of him since he's older and keeps himself to himself a lot

Neteyam will be going off to college soon (he's like 17 in this AU purely for the older bro vibes) and Spider can see that he wants that for himself as well, eventually

one time Neteyam catches Lo'ak and Spider sneaking in at like 3am from the skatepark and says that as long as they don't do it again he won't snitch on them

Lo'ak and Spider invite him on the next one

Neteyam notices a car parked on the street outside their house over a few days that seems kinda sus, and he mentions it to Jake, who tells Norm, who tells social services, because what do you know, it couldn't possibly be the dangerous Papa Miles stalking his son could it?? (someone please write a fic)

[obxfiles]

i agree completely, and everyone seems to see him as an easy target because he hasn’t ever really spoken up to defend himself, he’s only ever tried defending his girlfriend which hasn’t ever worked either. i think more often than not he’s been too sweet for his own good, but then again that kind hearted nature has always been the reason i empathized so much with him.

most of the press this season was a breath of fresh air, but yes specially the ones he did with drew and laci and the kitten interview with chase as well, he seemed very comfortable when with them. i’ve always thought he feels more at ease interacting with people one on one rather then in bigger groups.

sucks that people take that uneasiness and anxiety as arrogance or everyone hating him, unfortunately that tends to happen a lot with introverts.

i just hope he gets through this, the people sending him hate have likely already made up their mind about him and aren’t likely to give him any grace, they’re now saying that since the cast haven’t posted any goodbyes to him that means they’re glad he is gone, which is bullshit since they are silent on all fronts, not just regarding him.

yess i think with tiktok and such, there's this new idea people have that if people don't speak out about every detail on their lives, then they're hiding something. because he doesn't come out right and defend himself (because he's rising above it and being the bigger person) they treat him like he's a problem and is hiding something or keeping something. it's so weird.

and i totally agree!! he's so gentle-hearted. you just have to watch him to pick up on that. i really don't think there's a mean bone in his body. the way he speaks on things...there's such a gentleness to him that was what drew me to him from the start. it's rare to see that i think.

the kitten interview, the texting fans, and the fishing for complements one were sooo refreshing. he was just in his element and there wasn't any drama. not to be shady, but no one making faces or rolling their eyes or whatever. he could just be there and be himself and not have to overthink and be too into his own head. and i always talk about how soft chase is with him, but i love seeing his interactions with laci and drew and austin.

yeah the people that are actively rooting for a falling out between them need to touch grass. they are acting like these people are characters not human beings and this is drama to consume with popcorn, not people's real emotions and friendships. i don't understand it. hell, i even want him to madison to still be friends simply because i want this little family they formed all those years ago to still be in each other's corner. i can't imagine wishing for downfalls of friendships just for content and drama to eat up. it's so bizarre to me. like i'd totally read a book or watch a show that had a plot line like some of this drama but the fact is these are real human beings, not works of fiction, and these are their real hearts and emotions that are getting hurt in the process and people need to realize that.

also can i just say how much i love having found the obx community here on tumblr. like y'all are seriously the best!! i love reading everyone's takes and how supportive and kind and the grace that extends from you all. it's just really nice to see that among the world of twitter and tiktok where things are so very much the opposite

[theclaravoyant]

(nothing will change) if you never choose ~ 911 buddie (Rated T)

AN ~ Prompted by @exhaustedpigeon on Tumblr. Thank you! I had a lot of fun writing this, I hope you like it!

Prompt #962 for @911actions Gotcha For Gaza event. The prompt period is now over, but you can still show your support for a good cause! MASSIVE thank you to the incredible galaxy brain G4G chat members without whom this fic would simply not be what it is x

Title from Who Do You Love - Marianas Trench

Relationships: Buddie, Eddie & Christopher, Eddie & Maddie, Eddie & Karen, Eddie & Dispatch Crew, Buddie & Christopher.

Shippers on Deck, Feelings Realisation, Feelings Confession. Set post S7. Past mentions of Maddie/Doug and Buck/Tommy.

Read on AO3 (~4300wd)

Summary:

It's been a long time since Eddie Diaz has had friends. Even longer since he's felt like he knows who he is, and what he wants. The Dispatch Wine & Whine crew are here to nudge him in the right direction.

(nothing will change) if you never choose

Wine & Whine nights were a Dispatch thing long before Eddie came along. They persisted once he'd left as well, and he'd removed himself from the invitation. Recently though, when Christopher had left and Buck had gotten involved with Tommy and he was feeling so desperately lonely, more than he dared look too closely in the eye, he'd begged back in. They'd taken pity on him enough to have him, and let him start turning back up with barely a word except to heave a sigh and let as much of the weight of the world as he dared fall off between them.

He didn't share everything of course – far from it – but it was a plus that they were all either parents or first responders or both. Maybe they hadn't been shot out of the sky but they'd all been through their own shit and he kind of knew parts of it; enough to know that they got him, enough for him to start to trust it. They understood that there'd be landmines inside him, and rocks under which they shouldn't be too keen to look, and they all had their own too. And sometimes they talked about them, or around them – about the rough calls, about the struggles of being so close to those who threw themselves at danger every day, and yet so far. Sometimes they just talked about what was going on with Jee and Mara and Josh's new boyfriend Leon (most recently, they'd got a cat). It was nice. Eddie had even managed to convince himself to stick with it as the world turned right side up again around him. He was starting to figure there might be something to Frank's advice after all, about talking to someone who understood, and about spreading his identity eggs – or something; he's sure he's mixing Frank's metaphors - between more baskets.

Change of plans. W&W at the Wilsons tonight, Maddie sends the group chat.

Trading your husband for a decent pinot? Can relate, Josh sends.

Maddie sends a laugh emoji. Karen prefers Epicuro.

I can bring a decent pinot, Eddie offers. He's still got a bottle of Rodney Strong unopened and gathering dust on top of the fridge; it's been stting there since he and Marisol were dating. The offer is met with several little heart reacts and an enthusiastic series of red wine emojis from Josh and maybe it's silly but it makes him smile. It feels like such a long time since he's had friends.

Out of the corner of his eye, he feels Christopher watching him. He's smiling too.

“Are you texting Buck?” Christopher asks. Eddie chuckles. “Actually, no.”

“Uh huh. Are you sure?” His eyes narrow.

“Sure I'm sure. Don't you worry, Buck has clear instructions to leave you alone for the night unless you contact him. Message has been received loud and clear. But if you do need him, his phone number, and Uncle Chim's and Hen's are on the fridge, okay?”

“I have Buck's phone number,” Christopher reminds him. “And Uncle Chim, and Hen, and Bobby. And Abuela, and Tia Pepa, and Mrs Hudson from two doors down.”

“And the emergency services?”

Christopher groans and throws his head back. “Come onnnnnn. Aren't you going to be late to something?”

“That's for me to worry about,” Eddie retorts, but the attitude only makes his heart soar further. He's back, and so Chris, and he'll gladly suffer that glare every day for the rest of his life if he has to. He grins. “Why? You're planning on throwing a party the second I walk out of here, aren't you.”

Christopher shakes his head. “I want to order pizza and use the big TV for my channel launch.”

“Right, right.” Eddie grabs his battered wallet, and tries to remember which one of these folds still has some cash tucked away inside it.

“It's okay, Dad,” Chris says, matter-of-factly. “My fans will cheer me the bits for it.”

Eddie's not sure if he's serious or not about the terminology. But the concept? Christopher's eyes are steady, confident. His jaw is set. As much as when he'd insisted on skateboarding, or horseriding, or the Tower of Terror. Only one of those he's pretty sure Chris regrets.

“You're serious about this, huh?”

“As a tsunami.”

Eddie holds back the urge to pull his son against him and never let go. He holds out a twenty instead.

“Consider it an investment in your future.” He sighs. “Alright. Off I go. Phone's on the counter, first aid kit's on the bench. Don't burn the place down, alright?”

“No promises,” Chris teases, by which he means, of course I won't, you idiot. But he has a fond smile for his dear old dad, and he doesn't object when Eddie scoops him in for just a moment and presses a quick kiss to the top of his hair. Then Eddie picks up the wine in one hand and his keys in the other, and manages to force himself out the door.

-

“My pinooot,” Josh sings, opening the door for Eddie and brushing past his – completely unnecessary, per the rules of W&W – apology with a teasing smile. “Ooh, hello Rodney. Get inside me. And hello to you too, I guess.”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “It's nice to be missed. And I'll have one too. Since you're offering.”

“Done.”

“So, how's Chris?” Karen asks as he drops his bag and moves further into the room. She, Maddie and Linda are already half a bowl and some change deep into a bag of chips and some pickle-sausage-cheese hors d'ouevres. “This is his first big night alone, huh?”

Don't remind me, Eddie groans silently.

“Not his first,” he insists. Though he's not sure that time he rounded the corner to the Taco Bell and watched his phone like a hawk for fifty nine minutes and fifty seconds technically counts.

“Mmhmm.” Karen nods. She meets eyes with Josh and gestures, make it a heavy one, and Josh adds a little extra to his pour before handing it over. Eddie draws a long, deep, grateful sip and sinks into the seat they've left open for him.

“He's so grown up,” he laments. “I feel like I've missed it all of a sudden. He's tall. He's shaving. The other night he came to me asking for help to get a job!”

“Ooh, been there,” Linda sympathises, waving her own glass in the air for some of the newly-arrived red. Josh obliges. “Ben's off to college, it feels like yesterday! He's what, fifteen though, right? Didn't you have a job at his age?”

“Yeah; had my first paper route when I was twelve. But he- he gets pocket money and stuff, you know? He shouldn't need it. I provide for my son.”

“Nobody's saying you don't,” Josh points out, “but there's more to a job than the finances. Schools and jobs are pushing for experience more and more these days. Maybe Chris wants to get his foot in the door. Or maybe just a bit of independence, you know?"

Eddie groans. Out loud this time.

“Ahhh, the i word,” Maddie sighs with a groan of her own. “On that, I can relate. There's nothing wrong with not wanting Christopher to live the life you did, Eddie. I mean, here's to hands-off parenting. But there's got to be a balance, right? Otherwise... Jee will never learn to tie her own shoes.”

She pouts, as if the very prospect of either path forward troubles her, and the others nod in commisseration. Eddie only wishes that was the entirety of the problem at hand.

“Oh, he's being plenty independent about it,” he explains. “He's decided he's going to be a Twitch streamer, apparently.”

“Oh.” Karen scoffs. “So the problem isn't just that he's being independent, it's that you don't like what he's doing with his independence.”

“Which is kind of the point of independence, no?” Josh finishes for her, one sharp eyebrow raised at Eddie.

“Look, it's not that I don't like it -” even though I barely have a clue what it is - “it's just that... I'm not sure it's going to go anywhere for him. It's not, you know. Sustainable. Successful.”

“What are you talking about?” Linda objects, and points a finger before Eddie can do more than open his mouth again. “You sit down, Mr HILDY Hater Fan Club. I think Christopher would rock a Twitch. He totally helped me beat Tomb Raider! And Among Us? Please. He's already getting clipped on Tiktok. I just know a series on Baldur's Gate or something would go wild. That kid's hilarious. You never know. He could make bank.”

Eddie blinks. He's still catching up with the image of Gamer Linda and how this somehow didn't manage to come up earlier. Between that and cheering bits, everything feels like jibberish.

“That was English, right?” he jokes, and peers into his wine glass. “How much have I had?”

“Come on.” Linda laughs. “He's just being creative. Plus, this way he doesn't have to deal with a lot of the constraints of a minimum wage junior job. Me, I worked a deli counter at fourteen, and it sucked ass. You're always standing for too long, lifting stuff you probably shouldn't be lifting. Got held up a couple times.”

(“Ah, the road to Dispatch,” Josh cheers, raising his glass to the room.)

“You don't have to risk him getting held up, though,” Maddie interrupts, before Eddie can jump on that particular point and spiral. “Denny coaches Little League, right? And I know Harry – Harry works at that skate shop. Or was it a surf shop? That might be a bit outside Christopher's wheelhouse but I'm sure there's something more... conventional out there for him, if you want.”

“I do want,” Eddie agrees. He takes a deep breath. “But right now, no thanks. I made a promise. He gets a month to try this Twitch thing and we'll re evaluate after that.”

“Aw. Look at you being all normal about your kid's choices,” Karen praises. “The first time Denny came home in new shoes he bought himself I'm pretty sure I cried for an hour and then called all the local engravers to have a trophy made.”

“So what I'm hearing is, you have a hook up.”

“Oh God.” Maddie cringes. “Don't tell Chimney. We can't afford the storage.”

She's joking. Mostly. But nevertheless, in the chat there appears a link to Solas & Sons, Pasadena.

“Seriously though,” Karen repeats, “let me know and I'll ask around. I'm sure we could use a mind like his at the lab. Priya has a series of lectures on the evolution of deep space photoimagery coming up she'll need transcribed.”

“Thanks, Karen,” Eddie replies. “He'd love that – he's on a real astrophysics kick at the moment. I'll keep you posted.”

His phone buzzes. He jumps for it.

It's Buck.

Are you SURE you don't want me to call in on Christopher?

Thanks, but no. He's got this. Eddie looks at the clock. It's almost been half an hour since he left and he hasn't quite lost his mind yet. Maybe he's more ready for this than he thought. Throwing his phone through the roof at the mere prospect of a message just now notwithstanding.

Ok, Buck agrees.

Then: [Frowny face]. [Clock] [Clock] [Clock] [Clock].

Eddie can't help smiling even as he tries to turn his phone face-down again.

“What about you, Linda?” he asks. “What's going on in the Bates' sphere?”

Somehow, already, he's looking again. He can't help it.

I'm nervous, Buck says. I feel crazy. Do you think I baby him too much since he came back?

You're fine, Eddie sends back. I started it.

Did you know about this, btw?

Buck sends a link to what is, apparently, Christopher's newly launched Twitch channel. 'CYBERTSUNAMI [Cool Guy Emoji]'. He's got what appears to be a live feed of Fortnite playing, the screen dominated by his own avatar leading through the game. There's a chat window in the corner and – well, by Eddie's expectations at least – it is blowing up. One particular message catches his eye.

Caligirl0404 writes: wtf is your 'Buck'?

In their own chat, Buck sends: He's talking about me?? [Star eyes emoji]. BRB I need to find something for this kid to sign to prove I knew him before he made it big.

Eddie barks a laugh. He immediately covers his mouth, but can't quite obscure his smile, and he knows it's just embarassingly luminescent because of the way they're all looking at him. They've been looking at him like that for a while now, especially when the topic of Buck comes up. It's this soft, sparkly sort of look like they're waiting for him to figure out something they know that he doesn't. But he does know, and it has something to do with that warm feeling he gets whenever he thinks about him. Since Buck came out – since Tommy – he's been sort of wondering. If someone like him... if those feelings could be... “How is my dear brother?” Maddie asks, swirling her chardonnay like she knows something. Which she definitely does. “And how's Tommy? I haven't seen much of either of them since the break-up.”

“Buck's fine,” Eddie says. “Tommy's – also fine, sort of. I think. They left things on good terms, as far as I know. No harm, no foul. They just wanted different things.”

Karen nods. “Buck wants kids.”

Josh snorts into his wine glass. Eddie's hands freeze on his own.

“What?” Josh all but splutters. “Our Buck? As in, Evan James Firehose Buckley?”

But Eddie asks - “How did you know?"

“Oh, please!” Karen cries. “Uncle Buck? He lives for them. Plus, he already kind of has one, and you know he loves Christopher more than life itself. I know it sounds crazy, but – and on pain of death, he can never know this, alright? – I see myself in him, that way. I know. I know. But he has this passion. And it's not something fleeting, it's this drive. You know when it's something you really want, and if there's one thing I've learnt about Buck over all these years it's that that man wants to make a family more than anything else in this world.”

Eddie closes his eyes. It's too much to think about, and Karen's steady gaze is boring into him like she can see straight through to the supercut of Buck, and Chris, and Buck-and-Chris that plays at all times in his heart. He can still picture Buck telling him about the break-up like it was yesterday. Too close in their kitchen with his eyes doing that very solemn sort of shine like they did the night he'd told him about he and Tommy being he-and-Tommy in the first place.

-

“Hey. What's W&W?” Buck had asked. “You and Tommy going to some new extreme sport I don't know about?"

“Uh, no.” Eddie had shaken his head. “Tommy and I are... taking a break, for a while.”

“Oh.” Buck had frowned. “Not 'cause of me though, right? I told you: me and Tommy are cool. We just want different things.”

“Wasn't my idea,” Eddie had promised. “He's still a little sore about you guys, and apparently, me starting every other sentence with 'Buck' isn't helping.”

A quiet blush had crept onto Buck's cheeks at that and he'd bitten his lip. Eddie knew that meant he was holding back something he felt he shouldn't say. He was probably thinking, he's sore over me? and not wanting to admit it was kind of flattering. Eddie had wanted to tell him that anyone would be. Well, anyone should be. It was just Tommy's bad luck that he was apparently one of the first who understood that.

“It's not all bad,” Buck had said, and it must have been the truth: he'd never been one for the stiff upper lip approach when he could help It. Yet he'd smiled. “Feels good, actually. Even though it sucks. You know? It's like these pieces of the puzzle of my life are falling into place. Tommy helped me find some of those pieces. But he knows kids aren't part of his puzzle and I've decided... for me they are. Does that make sense?”

“It makes perfect sense,” Eddie had assured him. “You're a great dad.”

And Buck had looked at him with this face like – like he didn't quite believe it. Or at least that he was surprised at Eddie's choice of words. That he is. Not that he will be, or would be, or could be. He gets that face a lot, and more and more lately, Eddie wants to kiss it off him. That's another thing that's been lingering on Eddie's mind of late. The pieces of that puzzle of his own.

-

“Penny for your thoughts?” It's Maddie and her big, brown, powerful Buckley eyes who knocks Eddie out of his reverie.

He sighs, and drinks, and drums his fingers on the bottom of his wine glass, until the words come to him.

“When I was at Dispatch,” he says at last, “May and I had this talk. About the future and if she wanted to stay on and all that. And she said to me this thing about how when she was younger, she'd had this vision in her head of who she wanted to be – 'a very specific person,' she said - and she felt like she'd lost that.”

There's a hush around the room. They watch him softly, nod quietly in their own recognition.

“And I thought yeah, me too,” he continues, down the path inside him precious few others have ever tread. “I had this idea of myself, when I was her age. Hell. Not even. About what a man was and how I was going to be one, and a soldier, and a husband, and now I'm none of those things. I don't really know what I am.”

Maddie nods.

“I remember,” she says softly. “I had an idea of who I thought I was going to be before Doug... The family I thought we'd have, the job, everything. Even myself. I was going to be a nurse. After him I never could.”

“Can you believe,” Karen adds, “I might have been an honest to God astronaut?”

These are their landmines.

Eddie takes a deep breath, and finds his eyes are suddenly burning. In the quiet, it's so obvious. He hates how his voice sounds when he gets upset, all choked and shakey; it brings his father's scolding to his ears and it's one of so many things he thought he'd be over by now. He'd always thought he'd be stronger.

“I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm happy for him,” he manages. “I'm proud of him. For knowing who he is and what he wants and standing up for that. I love that for him. I do. But honestly, I'm kind of jealous. I wish I could do that too.”

“Eddie,” Maddie breathes, like his words have hit her square in the chest.

He tries to laugh it off, and shrug, like don't mind me, bawling my eyes out and I'm not even half a glass in. But he's in a room full of people who listen for a living. Who spend their days, their lives – who are called, if Linda is to be believed, with the same passion and instinct that's brought him to firefighting – to see people through moments just like this. He's never felt so simultaneously exposed and supported.

(Except maybe that time when Buck had broken down his locked door. Listened to him cry I'll never feel normal again and helped him tape up his walls anyway.)

Linda bumps her shoulder against him.

“It's not too late, Eddie,” she assures him. “For everything there is a season. Remember, it wasn't too long ago you weren't even sure you wanted to be a firefighter? Trust. In God, in the universe, in yourself. Have faith, and it'll come to you.”

“May did end up going back to school,” Karen continues. “She's figuring herself out. Me, I've got a family I love and no regrets. And as for Buck? Please. It's not like he hasn't had a long and winding road to get where he is either. We all have. So go easier on yourself, will you? You're thirty. Not ninety. You've got time.”

Eddie nods, but he still curses his hands for shaking. Can Christopher call now, please, he begs – God, the universe, himself. Can someone talk me off this ledge before my heart does it for me.

Josh catches his hands, takes the glass from them and puts it on the table, and then chases his eyes until he surrenders to the contact. For all their petty rivalry, the man does have a surprising amount of gravitas about him when it comes to the moment of crisis.

“Eddie,” he says. “Tell me about that man you want to be.”

He wants to be funny, he thinks, and he's not sure why that's the first thing that comes to mind. He wants to be loved, and feel safe. He wants to raise Christopher to feel the same. He wants to be brave and strong, but more than that: he wants to be vulnerable and soft and needy and silly. Things he never really got to be as the man of the house, or the soldier, or the husband, or the widower. Or the father, even, really – because as much as he loves Christopher, he can't share his whole self with him. That's the sacrifice of a father. A good one, anyway. And maybe, now that he thinks about it, therein lies one of the greatest struggles he's had with his own father and even with his faith. Above all else a father should shield his son from the worst the world has to offer, even if said father has done it, seen it, struggled against it. Yes, he wants that, of course he wants that, but he wants someone to share it all too. He wants to be able to be his best self and his worst self, his strongest and his weakest, and to know there's someone in his corner and it's all going to be okay. He wants a partner, and to be one in return.

And he opens his mouth.

And nothing comes out.

Because everywhere he looks in this little revelation, there's a startling amount of Buck. Everywhere his favourite self is, is Buck, Buck, Buck.

There's that sparkly look in their eyes again.

Linda smiles knowingly. “He's telling you something, isn't He?”

Eddie looks at her. At Josh. At Karen and Maddie, who have moved closer together now and are holding each other's arms like they know what's coming.

“I- maybe,” he confesses. “But I can't- I'm not ready.”

There's still that voice, his mother's voice, that says, Don't drag him down with you.

And Buck, breaking down a locked door and patching up his walls anyway.

“Oh, ready,” Maddie scoffs. She must be catching the tears off him, but she waves a hand dismissively. “Nobody's ever 'ready.' You think I was ready when Chimney asked me to watch Mission Impossible the first night I officially moved here? Or when Buck called us out about Buffridays and made us see our relationship for what it was? I still jumped every time I dropped a plate in front of him for years. And Doug came for us anyway. And we survived. If I'd waited until I was ready we might both be dead. And we wouldn't have Jee-Yun. We wouldn't have any of this life we've built. So I have no regrets. Maybe not everything happens for a reason, but it still happens, and we still have to make a life out of it, don't we? When you find the right person, Eddie, they get down in the trenches and make a life with you. And I promise you, there's nothing better than that.”

Josh looks up at her. He still hasn't let go of Eddie's hands. “If I didn't know better,” he jokes, “I'd say you're trying to set Eddie up with your brother.”

“I said I liked you too much,” Maddie jokes back. She hasn't taken her eyes off Eddie. Her lip curls up into a smile. “Eddie and I, we were never that close.”

His phone buzzes.

He takes a deep breath, and pries a hand free off Josh to check it.

It's Buck. He's sent one of those meme videos captioned: guinea pigs when they get petted be like and Eddie just knows he's got that stupid, smitten Buck Smile on again. He can't help it.

“Call him,” Josh whispers.

“Oh my God, call himmmmm,” Karen urges, shaking Maddie's arm in anticipation.

“What if he says no?” Eddie asks. Because that feels like something he should prepare himself for. Even if it feels strangely impossible, honestly, he might not survive it.

“A wise man once told my husband,” Maddie advises. “That life is short and we're not promised tomorrow. If you love him. Tell him.”

It rushes through him in an instant. Shannon, the helicopter, the car crash, the lightning strike. If you love him, tell him.

He swipes his thumb across the screen and Buck picks up almost instantly. Because of course he does. Because he's Eddie, and this is Buck. He gets up and Karen herds him outside for some privacy. Before he can let himself second guess - again - he clears his throat.

“Hey man. Have you got a minute?”

[celestiaras]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ quiet in the library ]❜

ft. aia amare x gn! reader — iluna, nijisanji en

╰₊✧ while you’re left to study & aia is having the time of her life at the library, you eventually get bored & decide to mess around with her┊1.3k words

contains: smut!! dom reader & sub aia┊established relationship, semi-public (but it’s practically public), fingering, a suprise…

➤ author's note: real ones know that this is a repost from when tumblr was acting up

for what felt like the hundredth time, you checked the time at the bottom-right corner of your laptop and sighed when you once again saw that barely a single minute has passed. spending your saturday studying for classes that you already had good grades in was the most mind-numbingly boring thing you could be doing right now. with the holidays coming up, you were ready to just fail the assessments and put it all behind you so that you could enjoy all of your free time for hobbies and spending time with loved ones.

alas, your girlfriend wasn’t too fond of the idea of you throwing out your schoolwork when break hadn’t even started yet. sure, your grades were high enough to take the hit, but you were smart enough to pass if you put in the effort and she didn’t want your scores to lower just because you were lazy. that’s why she dragged your ass out to the local library and took away your phone so that you could concentrate, skipping off to explore the archive while leaving you to suffer in silence while fueled by nothing but crappy overpriced coffee.

with the excuse of needing to stretch your legs, you asked a classmate who happened to be sitting at the same table as you to watch over your belongings and essentially bolted out of there to begin your search for your beloved angelic maiden. the building was massive, but all it took was asking a kind old lady where the section that contained the books about whatever aia’s current hyperfixation was to track her down.

there were dozens of students of all ages who were there to study or to partake in festive events the library was hosting, but this wing at the back was pretty empty in comparison. you found her softly humming and swaying to the sound of her song while flipping through one of the books— looking so peaceful and lost in her own world that you almost reconsidered pestering her, but your boredom and need to get away from schoolwork was much stronger than any self-control in your body.

you tip-toed up to her and wrapped your arms around her before she could detect you, giggling at her gasp followed by an adorable pout when she realized that it was just you, “you’re supposed to be studying! it hasn’t even been an hour yet, you’re a lost cause!”

“you left me all alone while you went off on your own adventure,” you whined, rocking her back and forth in your grasp for the sole purpose of being more irritating. “what are you reading about anyways?”

her teal eyes widened with enthusiasm as she eagerly began telling you about all of the cool new things she learned today and how it all tied in with the facts she already knew just above a whisper, completely forgetting about her annoyance with you in favor of rambling. you’re so blessed to be in a relationship with such a loveable dork, she’s so cute when she gets excited about things like this!

a bit too cute.. makes you wanna bully her a little…

you quickly looked around to confirm that there wasn’t anyone around (just a straggler or two out of the corner of your eyes, but none of them seemed like they would be heading in your direction). slowly, you began to tug on her long skirt with your dominant hand with the other one remaining around her waist. she didn’t seem to notice your suggestive movements just yet, still talking about information that was honestly going one ear out the other with your new task at hand.

it wasn’t until the fabric was well above her knees that she started stuttering and turning red at your obvious intentions, “h-hey! are you crazy? what if we get caught?”

“there’s practically no one around, it’ll be fine! if anything happens, i’ll take full responsibility and be your slave for a week, how does that sound?”

she had to admit, the prospect of having you obey her every order was incredibly enticing. “… make it two weeks…”

“deal!”

aia felt herself shiver in excitement when your skin brushed against her soft cream thighs, biting her bottom lip in anticipation when you gently began to pull her lacy white underwear to the side and getting embarrassed from how wet she was from your want. you experimentally ran the tip of your index finger along her folds, collecting slick on it before beginning to prod into her hole and circling her clit to get her to relax.

although, it’s hard for her to relax where you guys are literally in public! she never realized how loud she must be regularly until now when she’s forced to keep quiet in order not to draw attention to the both of you, finding it more and more difficult to fight against the sinful sounds threatening to spill from her lips. you held her body still, but she still reached out to grab onto the shelf in front of her to steady herself.

it was so cold with the breeze of the air conditioning against her exposed skin and yet so hot with the lust blooming in her womb. she felt nervous at the prospect of getting caught yet it was providing such a rush of thrill that she couldn’t describe.

you could feel her walls fluttering around your two angled fingers that were gently rubbing her soft spot with the palm of your hand providing friction to her pink pearl, lightly kissing her slender neck at her reactions of every sharp inhale and weak pleas for more. “ngh.. r-right there… please!” her hips bucked lower for your thrusts to push even deeper as you read her demands to press on, curling your fingers right where she wanted.

it didn’t take more than a few extra seconds before she gushed all over your hand and saw stars, swearing much more loudly than she would have liked to in the quiet environment. her plaited pale hair was now messy with sweat and her thin glasses were crooked and fogged up, prompting her to take them off and clean them with the fabric of her dress that wasn’t soiled with remnants of her climax. all this while, she relied on your support to remain standing since her legs were trembling from your actions.

“let’s go get you cleaned up, okay angel? i’m sure there’s a restroom somewhere nearby for you to go in while i grab my things…” you swung her off her feet and held her bridal style like a knight would (if you ignored your not-so-knightly behavior of skipping studies to seduce a maiden), “then we can order some takeout and watch a movie, it is saturday after all!”

“y-yeah…” her voice remained shaky but sounded content with what unfolded. she’ll remember later that she completely forgot to check out the books that she wanted and she’ll complain about it later, but for now, she was warm and pleased in your arms that carried her around the library.

the two of you were so enamored with each other at the moment that neither realized that there was a set of red eyes belonging to a certain enchantress watching the entire thing from above on the upper floor, a place that you forgot to check before starting this entire thing.

scarle came here to study just as you did, but now she would have to rush home to take care of the growing desire pooling in her stomach and dripping down onto her panties while thinking of her friends. she knew that she should probably wipe the entire thing from her mind since she had stumbled across something that she shouldn’t have as it was the private and intimate affairs of lovers, but it wasn’t too private now that you did it in public, now is it?

[flowersandbirdsflyingfree]

Tumblr ate the ask but I have a matchup for @avas-snazzical-corner !

You may be 5'7, but Richtofen is about 5'10 in my headcanons so he is still taller than you. It’s habit to rest his chin perfectly on top of your head when he gives you a hug

Don’t feel embarrassed for being plus-sized. It doesn’t stop you from ever being that radiant shining star in his eyes. In fact, he actually prefers it on someone he loves. Just something about those features makes you a kissing magnet for him. (anyone who wants to disagree gets vaporized by ME)

His major love languages are physical touch and gift giving. He’s absolutely the type to splurge money and gift you fine jewelry or whatever your heart desires.

Your kindness is so special. He feels he doesn’t deserve any of it sometimes. You can feel from every kiss just how much it means to him.

Having a good sense of humor and intellect are qualities he definitely looks for in a partner so thank gosh you have it! Already, you had his attention on you from the beginning

Do show him more about these “memes” (pronounced mee-mees by Richtofen). They amuse him! And he’ll sit beside you after a long day to unwind

If you feel insecure, he will listen to you pour your heart out with no judgement. The Doctor will always make time for you. Perhaps even having you tell him while he works on a lab project. He can multitask efficiently

Edward knows how it feels to be abandoned and ostracized by peers. Despite his seemingly charming demeanor, most of people he talks to are only to tolerate or for self-serving purposes. But you are FAR different.

I think that’s why he was taken aback by you. You’re genuine. A genuine soul who loves him for who he is for no bias, no contract to fulfill to earn it, no need to impress…. You really think he’s worthy of all that?

He will never leave you. Even if he has to send you texts or leave you a little trinket to hold his place in spirit as you both endure the working world. You are irreplaceable.

[zarvasace]

Ok Random question but if The Colors lived in a time when Hyrule had trains i.e. the Spirit Tracks era, what do you think each Link's relationship with the trains would be. Like would they all end up engineers, maybe Shadow gets spooked by the trains since nothing like that existed in the dark world. I dunno this is just a random thought that has gotten itself lodged in my brain

Okay, so Tumblr didn't show me this came in until now. XD sorry!

I don't know much about Spirit Tracks but I can imagine an early industrial revolution AU with some magic just fine!! :) let's come up with a train-centric steampunky AU:

Kingdom of Hyrule, less of a political kingdom these days, specializing in innovation. They've expanded their rail lines within their borders and have been making deals with other countries to build outward. There is one main rail line sponsored by the government, and universities and a few smaller ones trying to break into the growing industry.

Green, Red, Blue, and Vio are all new graduates of the kingdom's university, each specializing in something different. They're all in minor competition for The Title of Royal Engineer, but otherwise good friends with each other and the dean's daughter Zelda.

Using a steampunky mad science/occult ritual, the most relevant bad guy summons Shadow and, I assume, kicks off the plot.

Green would be kind of an officer—I don't know how train hierarchy works but I can pretend it's something like a ship. He's advancing through the ranks toward captain conductor and took officer classes at school. He's considerate but a little snobbish, coming from a rich family and knowing he's on track to be in charge someday.

Blue clashes the most with him, though Blue doesn't have any intention of being conductor (anymore.) He's well-acquainted with heavy machinery, the real greasy bolts and wheels of it all, and not just for trains. His standards of cleanliness and organization are legendary, and Green consults with him about the condition of the train as a whole.

Red is concerned, of course, with the whole steam-power part of it all. He's intimately familiar with several methods of propulsion, and enjoys trying to come up with more and more efficient engines. He knows exactly how much fuel they need and how to portion it out. He got into some trouble in school for several explosions and usually has soot on his clothes. Where Blue is concerned with every wheel and cog, Red knows the locomotive and tender car like the back of his hand. Better, probably, since his hands are usually blackened or gloved.

Vio's more about the logistics, the theoretical, the communication. He keeps the timetables, the financial records, and telegrams. He's a chronic overworker, and it isn't uncommon to find him napping in his tiny little office chair, several drained cups of coffee rattling on the desk. He's often first off the train at a stop, though he prefers to get back to the office as fast as he can.

Shadow is the ghost in the train. He's the silhouette against the oil lamps, the rippling reflection in the windows, the thing out the corner of your eye. He's the false telegram message, the broken face of the temperature gauge, the bell ringing in an empty compartment.

Okay well that was fun XD got a little more Aesthetic than Conceptual there at the end but hey fun times!

[iguessitsjustme]

Love Sea Ep 7 Thoughts

I was considering not doing a liveblog this week. This honestly might be my last one. I don’t know. I just…I don’t feel particularly welcome here anymore so this might be my last post for a while (here being tumblr. this is not love sea specific. everyone has been very nice about my liveblogs thank you). Also my tendonitis has been so extremely bad lately. Honestly, this will probably not even be much of a liveblog. Click to read if you want. Or don’t. I’m just gonna eat my pizza and watch.

I want Rak’s shirt with the little infinity over the heart.

I actually think they’re being cute right now. And I really like this music choice. Either this show has gotten better, I’ve stopped caring, or my mental state is more fragile than even I realized.

I still hate the narration at the beginning of the episodes. Stop this. It adds nothing.

Can I skip all of Vie’s scenes? Will that make it better or worse?

Rak don’t give that man money. Give that man a concussion. 

Honestly, I’ll forgive Mut everything if he just…punches Rak’s dad. Just a little. As a treat.

Save Mook. Save her.

The way I would have left Vie stranded so many times. Mook is a far better person than I. And she deserves better. This manipulation is such ass. I’m not gonna talk about it any more. It’s making me angry. Like real angry. Not just haha internet angry. But angry angry.

Mook has to threaten to quit to get Rak to do part of his job that he agreed to do and somehow she’s the bad guy? They should just rename this show Hate Mook.

This storyline with Rak’s…cousin?? I think. It bores me. I am bored.

Okay I was worried that someone would try to make it seem like Mut met Rak’s cousin in secret but it does seem like Mut told Rak about it. That’s good. Unexpected but good. Wish I cared.

What was the point of all of that? Why introduce that problem just to immediately solve it? Why immediately cancel it out? It did nothing. It added nothing. What was the point?

Noisy neighbors go AWAY

I managed to get so far into the show today before they appeared but dear god. One of these days I’m gonna leave my apartment and just be like “y’all noisy. Ya mind?”

Even MORE noisy neighbors? Anyway clapping very loud and saying “excellent. wonderful. truly amazing. love it.” in a deadpan voice gets them to at least stop being so freaking noisy. They’re still there and talking but at least they aren’t so damn loud.

Anyway I rolled my eyes the entire way through Rak’s speech.

What was Prin’s plan really? Rak will get accused of throwing water at her? If people actually believed he did that, it would blow over in what? A week? It was water. She also didn’t think there would be a camera? Seriously. What was her end game? What kind of weak ass plan was that?

If Vie just asked for help like a normal person and was willing to accept a no from Mook, Mook would be so much more eager to help. But the manipulation is crazy. How are you going to say that Mook not helping you rehearse will lead to OT for the crew. Be better at your job then???

I just had to go wash soot off of my hands. It’s better if you don’t ask. But I need you all to know my struggle.

Honestly? This episode was fine. Rak and Mut are cute now I guess. Vie can go…away. Just go away. Mook deserves better. Prin is unhinged but also this is a huge scandal because she dumped water on herself. That’s insane. The framing of the show is making out like it’s the most egregious crime. Like yeah. She tried to create a scandal by saying Rak dumped water on her but again…it’s…water. Many people have had water dumped on them and more people will in the future. It’s not like someone pulled a gun on someone. It is literally the least serious scandal of all time. The best way to deal with the Prins of the world is to just not give them any attention. Let them be off in their own little corner being unhinged by themselves. When she appears be like “oh hey. It’s you. how you been?” Just indifference. And also this scandal will blow over in a week if she just doesn’t do anything else crazy. This whole plot is so boring. Like oh no! Someone splashed some water! Whatever will they doooo???

I should go cause I’m being petty about this show. I did enjoy the episode for the most part. No screenshots today. It’s fine. It’s not the best but at least now I can enjoy it for what it is. Except for Vie. I need her not in this show actually.

Oh the show wasn’t over yet. There’s a little bit at the end. Oooohhh this is so on the nose it hurts. I get it. But dear god. This show’s writing has no subtlety whatsoever. It’s like “I need to smack all viewers upside the head with this giant hammer that says MESSAGE on it!” I GET IT. Damn this show really wants to try to do all of our thinking for us. The problem is that it isn’t doing it well. The message you are beating us over the head with should match the story you’re telling. And it’s not. Not quite. Close but not quite.

Oh and it’s paired with product placement. Message with an ad!

Oh I’m gonna hate next week’s episode. Good thing I probably won’t be liveblogging it! I might but the odds are not in liveblog’s favor. I am now gonna go and do/watch something that I actually enjoy and talk to people I love.

[vampiremeerkat]

I kinda need some advice (if you're comfortable giving), how does one keep their cool/sanity in the hellish atmosphere that is fandom nowadays? I really wanna get back to fanart and stuff as purely a hobby (and it was a huge part of my childhood) but considering how much of a warzone it is nowadays, I dunno if I can. Got anything?

Don't think I'm the right person to ask, I've not had that many entanglements with fellow fans throughout my online career. It's easy to assume that's because my overall viewership/online presence is low, but I've had the occasional semi-viral success and always enjoyed more praise than "criticism". I'd say fandoms in general are lenient and supportive, but every and any kind of community in the world has an insufferable minority. They shout and have alot of time on their hands, making it seem like you're dealing with a crowd, but that's never the case. Even if hundreds of people jump you, billions walk the Earth; it's not even a fraction of a percent you've displeased. But here's an actual answer to your question: In short:

Choose your fandoms wisely.

Don't overstay your welcome by sticking with one.

Don't join any online communities or participate in ongoing discourse. You're only here to draw.

Train yourself to understand that nothing in life fucking matters anyway. :(

In ｌｏｎｇ: I switch my focus alot. If I attract fans of a particular fandom, but the next thing I show off is less likely to tickle their interest, most will leave again, and it's kinda protecting me from growing an unsettlingly invested fanbase. Praise and attention never motivated me to stick around with one series for long, because I know what's waiting around the corner and don't want to be known as "the <insert this one piece of media here> artist", anyway. Look at my nonsense and go away, I just want to die alone! I'm also not active at any online forums and rarely look up and comment on other people's work. Spares you alot of "who asked you"-styled responses. I might've not when I was younger, but agree with the sentiment now. Unless you come across something criminal, why intrude on someone else's fun. Grumble about it on your account if you must, but don't take it to theirs.. even though it's valid to argue that posting something online is an automatic invitation for others to critique it, especially when you don't apply any form of visibility restrictions. I don't really care to discuss ideas with fellow fans. Weird claim, since my Tumblr exists, but I started this account to post Deviantart stuff. People showed up one day and started asking questions about the fandoms I've been involved in (or haven't), but it's not my hobby to get deep about a fictional property. Without getting instigated, anyway. I think about a question's subject as I read the words, do my best to dissect the whole thing and not throw around one-sentence replies, but seldom have the answer ready in my head. The3Eds was the only forum I enjoyed myself at, and the things I talked about over there barely had anything to do with Ed, Edd n Eddy. In the end, no one will be able to offer you one foolproof strategy on this matter. There've been many artists in the past who minded their business and were slaughtered by strangers. You need to be the kind of person who doesn't take online verbal abuse to bed. That's hard to do if you're looking for validation. You could avoid large fandoms that are known to attract the overly defensive and offensive, but if you have to tiptoe through life for others, what's even the point. Know that the internet is a luxury you don't have to participate in. Log off for a week or so if you're feeling down, or alternatively, delete all comment notifications indiscriminately as you keep on doing your thing.. unless you insist on deleting negative comments, but I don't think you should. Why stop people from embarrassing themselves in public. I don't think I've ever deleted comments, unless it's copy-pasted stuff/spam, because what often happens is that the poster regrets and deletes it themselves. I suppose that has value too. Allow that shit to stay alive, so the poster may one day return to it and potentially realise they're better than that. It's easier to keep your calm when you humanize your critics, if you can. The way a person expresses themselves may be trash, but what is it they're saying, and can the reason be empathized with? Sometimes you're dealing with someone who's obviously a child. I struggle to get angry at people under the age of 20. But really -and more importantly- no one should waste their time on fighting fellow fans when it concerns an issue that's objectively not important, you have better things to do. Try to close your eyes for it, it's seldom personal, even if the attacks try to be. People can pretend, but they don't know you and never will.